You Know you are Filipino if... (2008)

You Know you are Filipino if... (2008)

You get your haircut from a "bading"

If you are not Kapuso, you are a Kapamilya

You have been to Boracay and tell the story of your adventures there to everyone

You have never been to Boracay and you have to sit and listen to the one who did.

You have a family member who owns a motorcycle or tricycle

You get out of the NAIA to a jeepneyful of waiting relatives.

The same relatives will be the ones to wish you off when you depart, even if it means missing work or school.

You go to the mall because the weather is too hot.

You know someone who works in a call center

That someone rides the jeepney and pays the fare with an American accent.

You work in a call center

You have a Friendster account

You dislike anything "jologs"

You like Manny Pacquiao better than the President.

You have a relative who is a nurse or caregiver or studying to be one.

You go to a fastfood restaurant and order "#1" , "#2" , "#3"...

You send text messages like "D2 n me , wr n u?"

You own two mobile phones, one for Smart and one for Globe.

You own just one mobile phone but switch 3 SIM cards back and forth.

You text your friends for Pasaload.

You werent able to reply to a message because you were out of load.

You have secretly or openly wished you were a studio contestant for Deal or No Deal, GKNB, Wheel of Fortune or the Singing Bee.

Wowowee as well.

You always have an opinion on the characters in Pinoy Big Brother, Pinoy Idol or Pinoy Dream Academy.

"Lucky me" isn't just an expression.

You say "for a while" when you actually meant "one moment please"

You like watching beauty contests, from major events like Miss Universe to Little Miss Brgy. Puting Bato.

You like forwarding touching stories thru email only to end it with "your mother will die if you dont send this to 50 people within the next 5 minutes"

You pretend like you are texting to make yourself look busy.

You have bought VCDs and DVDs for less than 50 Pesos each.

You like to go to gay comedy bars.

You have voted for an actor/ model or TV personality into public office.

You eat instant pancit canton for breakfast.

You have heard alibata before but don't know what alibata is.

You politely turndown a compliment (eg. A: Hey you look beautiful today B: Hindi naman )

The only bookstore you know is National Bookstore

The only drugstore you know is Mercury Drug

You wish classes to be suspended everytime it rains hard

Summer for you starts in April

You have had notebooks in Highschool and Elementary school with photos of That's Entertainment stars on the cover.

You wear black to wakes and funerals

You can go to a theater in the middle of the movie and leave at the part when you arrived.

You sing "Hapy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY...... Happy birthday to you!"

You like to ask a foregner the following: "You have a girlfriend/ boyfriend?" , "Have you been to the beaches?" "Do you want to try balut?"

You think being a cono is being a wealthy brat.

Your idea of a date is a movie and Jollibee afterwards - at the mall.

You like to sing at videoke machines.

You have to be steady with a girl first before you can go out on a date.

You pronounce Ibuprofen (Medicol) as eye-BYU-pro-fen.

You dont recycle. You want to but there are no recycle bins in your area.

You browse youtube for this scandal and that scandal.

You expect a massage after a haircut.

Random Thoughts on English - Speaking

English is a tool for communication – not a quality that divides social classes. You must refrain from thinking of it as only for the elite. Rather, think of it as a tool to narrow that divide. You are reading this now because you have a desire to make your life better. And a requirement for the path that you chose is English proficiency.

English is not a novelty. It doesn’t make you a freak (Even though those who can’t speak it insist that it does). Just because you can speak English doesn’t mean you have grown a third nipple. On more than one occasion, I had had a young college girl giggle, cover her face and run away from me when I said “hi”. Imagine if I were a 6 foot 200 lb 45-year-old blue-eyed white American male. I would have 18 elementary school children calling out after me “hey joe!” and the rest of the campus scampering away.

Jose Rizal, who spoke the famous words, “Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika ay higit pa sa mabahong isda” actually spoke several languages including English and even married an American. Yet, he made his way to becoming the National hero. Being fluent in another language, especially English doesn’t necessarily equate to the abandonment of one's national pride. Again it is a tool, even, to compete globally and promote the beautiful cultures of the Philippines.

English is a part of culture. An understanding of American or British culture can be very helpful in expressing yourself in English. It will also be easier to understand a native speaker.

The Philippines has an advantage in the availability of Mass Media presented in Standard, British or American English. With the widespread availability of cable TV, channels like CNN, Discovery Channel, and HBO are the perfect resources easily within reach. Simon Cowell of American Idol and his harsh criticisms may raze Filipinos sensitive skin like molten magma on tissue paper but he is a goldmine for analogies and expressions:

“If I’m being honest…”

“I don’t mean to be rude…”

“Don’t take it the wrong way…”

“Having said that…”

“On the flipside…”

My favorite – “You’re like a drunken man on the loose.”

Now is not the time to argue about whether Filipino English on a national level is good enough or deteriorating.

Now is not the time to argue about what the National Language should be. If you want to pass the English Proficiency test, you must satisfy the requirements of the test giving body and even try to please them enough to pass you.

Focus on your weak points but make sure that your strong points are secure.

Try to learn a new word or expression every day. I was watching Mythbusters this morning on the Discovery Channel and while they were conducting an experiment, the “plausible” was mentioned about 9 times in 20 minutes. Without consulting the dictionary, I learned a new word out of context. The best part is, that I was able to experience the sights and sounds of the entire situation where the word “plausible” was perfectly appropriate.

Wit and sarcasm are part of American everyday life. No matter how good you are in textbook English, if you don’t know how to respond to, say, a witty UCLA undergrad, you find yourself speechless. Even a docile Canadian would easily look for a more interesting person to talk to.

Just as a singer knows he is RnB or Rock, speakers also have their own distinct manner of speaking – your own trademark if you may.

· For example, there is this pageant host who started his sentences with “At this juncture…” and I counted 23 times in a 1-hour show, sometimes twice in a sentence – So at this juncture, we will have a final look at the five finalists and at this juncture the reigning queen shall have her final walk. J hahaha.

· If it makes your thoughts flow more fluidly, it is ok to use “basically” or “you know…” with your sentences as long as you don’t use it to the point of annoyance.